I needed to come back to an outlet where I can express myself freely. Sometimes social media gets confusing and I don’t need everyone asking me what’s wrong and giving unsolicited advice. Physically, I can no longer handle this stress. It’s like I keep yelling and no one hears. I wear too many hats, including those of others, to just try to keep things flowing and to help. Being helpful is in my nature because I don’t like to see anyone down and out. I am not seeing that others have to learn on their own just like I had to.
Today I am grateful for the other L word….love.
Growing up, I felt like an outcast and so unloved.I didn’t even love myself. As I got older, I have begun to appreciate the love that has been shown to me through kindness, criticism, and generosity. Life has always placed me in situations that I always manage to get through. It because I do have love as a support net. I love to show love and to say it. I will never bring myself to that dark place again.
Something I like, but don’t like, to speak about is the fact that I was suicidal and I used to cut myself because I felt unloved. I look at my sisters, my brother. nephew, parents…my friends…and now my significant other who mean the WORLD to me and realized how selfish I was to take myself away from people who loved me. I learned when you don’t love yourself, everything will go wrong. You get treated how you allow yourself to be treated. I want to be love and I will show love.