I needed to come back to an outlet where I can express myself freely. Sometimes social media gets confusing and I don’t need everyone asking me what’s wrong and giving unsolicited advice. Physically, I can no longer handle this stress. It’s like I keep yelling and no one hears. I wear too many hats, including those of others, to just try to keep things flowing and to help. Being helpful is in my nature because I don’t like to see anyone down and out. I am not seeing that others have to learn on their own just like I had to.
So some things have happened in my life and dramatic changes were made. I’d rather not express it all here because it would do nothing but stir up my anxiety and make me say fuck it all, again.
Right now, I have found a place of inner peace. I have removed emotion to be able to think clearly and make the appropriate decisions based on what’s best for myself and my daughter.
Soooo….here’s a top 10 list of lessons I’ve learned:
1. Love yourself first. I know that this should be a no-brainer, but it is so easy to forget to do this.
2. Know when to walk away. We always try to fix things that are broken instead of taking it as a sign to just pick up our marbles and head home. We have to realize and understand that things do come to an end. Just find peace in the ending.
3. Emotions cloud logic. You really cannot think when you are angry or hurt. In that moment, you act irrationally and make some mistakes. Walking away and letting everything simmer down before making a rash decision is the best way to avoid problems later on.
4. Growing up is painful, yet necessary. “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” – I Corinthians 13:11
5. Set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and should not allow or settle for. Don’t let anyone do anything to make you uncomfortable.
6. Don’t trust everyone. Everyone is around does not have your best interests at heart. It is up to you to practice discernment in these situations.
7. Revenge tastes sweet, but success tastes better. It goes along with what I said earlier about removing emotion from logic. Allow yourself to get better at whatever it is that you do. You can always get back at someone by hurting them. That’s easy. Yet, it’ll hurt them more when they see you doing better without them. Let them revel in your awesomeness and take satisfaction in that. Don’t let anyone take anything from you. That lets them win.
8. After a while, you have to just stop trying. Don’t beat a dead horse.
9. Cut anyone and anything off that causes unnecessary problems. No matter who they are. I am around people who I know hate me, but why continue to be a glutton for punishment? You don’t have to interact with people just because you are related to them. Just leave them alone and continue with live. You’ll see great improvement in your life.
10. Never allow yourself to be broken the same way twice. Just as a bone that breaks grows back stronger, so should you.
Being overweight, I am very fortunate I have not had high blood pressure or diabetes, especially with my poor eating habits. Easy, fast and convenient food are more often than not the worst for you. I have been 246 lbs. at me worst and that is recently. As of March, I was was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. It sucks because the foods I love can potentially kill me. I end up not caring, but I really should because if I don’t, I can damage my small intestines. I wanted to become a vegan yet I find myself constantly fighting myself with bad habits.
I have people who love me and it is selfish to scarf down a burger because I don’t care about myself. It goes back to that self love thing I was speaking of. If you don’t love yourself, it will show. Your skin is the BIGGEST indicator of your health. I am determined to change the course I have started by:
* GETTING MY EATING RIGHT! (it is work in progress.) I am going to begin with a 3 day water fast and just start for a whole month consuming fruits and veggies and go from there. This will be updated on my YouTube channel and other blog.
*CLEANING!: Whether it’s my bedroom, my colon, or my spirit, it needs to done. A cluttered home is reflected through you and through it.
*MEDITATING!: Mental, spiritual, and emotional health are just as important. I meditate ever so often, but it needs to be consistent.
* EXERCISING!: I’m losing weight and the flabby skin is coming in. I need to being toning my body so I can be foine. LOL.
* RECEIVING BLESSINGS!: Sometimes we give so much that we don’t know how to be open to receiving. I’m working on and going to fix that.
* CREATING (& STICKING TO) REGIMENS/SCHEDULES!: This is important because this dictates the commitment to the change you want to make. I am currently going to create a goal chart (similar to a bucket list) for each month. I will meet them.
* MANAGING FINANCES BETTER!: Living from paycheck to paycheck or even borrowing makes my skin crawl. I am better than that. This ties back in with receiving the blessings. Money appears to me in some form or another when I need it. Yet, I always end up without it and on the hunt for a job. I am determined to change that. I want to begin my own companies (yes several). I was told that I couldn’t and that it’s a bad idea because of the economy, but hey…You never know.
* SPEAKING LIFE INTO EVERYTHING!: We all know someone (or even ourselves) who puts themselves down way too often or are just completely negative all of the time. Well,speak positively. Clear you mind and make sure your intentions are pure. ALWAYS. Everything else will fall as it will. Be the change you want to see.
*BEING CONFIDENT!: This is kinda like speaking life into everything. You have to believe in yourself and stick to your guns. There is NO other way it will work.
*BEING ME!: Sometimes I censor or edit myself just to appease someone else which not fair to them or me. They are missing out on the core of me and I am compromising myself. I cannot do it anymore.
** These are ways to improve my health. What about you?**
So far 2012 has definitely been a shaky year for me. I have had many experiences and revelations. I have learned about myself just by observing others. There is a voice inside of me and it has been fighting with me to come out. My life, because of that, has been a bit rocky and confusing. I find myself speaking up for myself, becoming careless and emotional, yet at the same time I am focused and ready to roll. I am understanding my place in life and where to begin to step out of certain situations. Continue reading