I needed to come back to an outlet where I can express myself freely. Sometimes social media gets confusing and I don’t need everyone asking me what’s wrong and giving unsolicited advice. Physically, I can no longer handle this stress. It’s like I keep yelling and no one hears. I wear too many hats, including those of others, to just try to keep things flowing and to help. Being helpful is in my nature because I don’t like to see anyone down and out. I am not seeing that others have to learn on their own just like I had to.
So some things have happened in my life and dramatic changes were made. I’d rather not express it all here because it would do nothing but stir up my anxiety and make me say fuck it all, again.
Right now, I have found a place of inner peace. I have removed emotion to be able to think clearly and make the appropriate decisions based on what’s best for myself and my daughter.
Soooo….here’s a top 10 list of lessons I’ve learned:
1. Love yourself first. I know that this should be a no-brainer, but it is so easy to forget to do this.
2. Know when to walk away. We always try to fix things that are broken instead of taking it as a sign to just pick up our marbles and head home. We have to realize and understand that things do come to an end. Just find peace in the ending.
3. Emotions cloud logic. You really cannot think when you are angry or hurt. In that moment, you act irrationally and make some mistakes. Walking away and letting everything simmer down before making a rash decision is the best way to avoid problems later on.
4. Growing up is painful, yet necessary. “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” – I Corinthians 13:11
5. Set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and should not allow or settle for. Don’t let anyone do anything to make you uncomfortable.
6. Don’t trust everyone. Everyone is around does not have your best interests at heart. It is up to you to practice discernment in these situations.
7. Revenge tastes sweet, but success tastes better. It goes along with what I said earlier about removing emotion from logic. Allow yourself to get better at whatever it is that you do. You can always get back at someone by hurting them. That’s easy. Yet, it’ll hurt them more when they see you doing better without them. Let them revel in your awesomeness and take satisfaction in that. Don’t let anyone take anything from you. That lets them win.
8. After a while, you have to just stop trying. Don’t beat a dead horse.
9. Cut anyone and anything off that causes unnecessary problems. No matter who they are. I am around people who I know hate me, but why continue to be a glutton for punishment? You don’t have to interact with people just because you are related to them. Just leave them alone and continue with live. You’ll see great improvement in your life.
10. Never allow yourself to be broken the same way twice. Just as a bone that breaks grows back stronger, so should you.
Here goes another night where I am awake. The only difference is that this time I am actually sitting down to analyze my problems instead of running from them. Last night, I started by contacting people who consistently have reached out to me and I have just turned the other cheek. Tonight, I woke up thinking about how my period is late and I know that I am not ready for baby number 2 yet. Instead of this swelter and puss in my soul, I decided to just write my feelings, albeit publicly. Continue reading
So, this past Monday (July 7th), I turned 25 years old. I still can’t believe it. It seems like yesterday I was playing with dolls and graduating from high school was driving me bananas., Hell, I even remember my first semester of college. It seems so close, but so far away. I’ve been called an old soul before and I guess that’s why I dread time. I feel like there’s never enough and I don’t really get to enjoy it. So…I’m taking the time to write the 25 things that I have learned.
As an adult, we are supposed to live up to a certain image or follow a certain blueprint and if we don’t, we are deemed or labeled as, “lazy”, “incompetent”, a dreamer. I know that I am not all of those things except lazy every Tuesday. :-p
I guess I’ll tell you want inspired me to write this.
Hi to all new subscribers and all old ones! I apologize for not being consistent, but that is going to change.
My title is because I am turning 25 on the 7th (of July) and lately my life has been definitely full of ups and downs and I do not know where to go. I am confused Continue reading
So, I’m listening to my slow jams playlist with a candle filled with my energy from meditation is burning. My mind actually is starting to be at peace, even with my daughter playing with her laptop and my boyfriend trying to show her the moon outside. Lately, I have been stressing about my weight, finances, living situation, etc. and I decided to just meditate under the full moon. I am a believer in astrology, numerology, astronomy, etc. I have been ever since I was little girl. I believe that we really don’t know nor appreciate the way the universe affects us. Yet, at the same time, we place our faith in other things than ourselves. We can pray for miracles and wait all day instead of praying and being led to them. There are signs all around us. Sometimes they come as failures, other times they come in the form of people. Lately, I’ve ignored everything else and just listened to what was being said to me. I have learned to be confident in my decisions and to live life without being scared. I need to depend on myself more than I have been because I am capable of great things. At this point in life, I am turning 25 and I know that there is no reason to be afraid of anyone and their opinions because most people do not know or care about you anyway. There will always be someone somewhere who supports you one day and doesn’t care about you the next. No need to hold on to people who things who do not want to be around, hinder you or hurt you.