Rant & Rambling – 3.26.15

I needed to come back to an outlet where  I can express myself freely. Sometimes social media gets confusing and I don’t need everyone asking me what’s wrong and giving unsolicited advice. Physically, I can no longer handle this stress. It’s like I keep yelling and no one hears. I wear too many hats, including those of others, to just try to keep things flowing and to help. Being helpful is in my  nature because I don’t like to see anyone down and out. I am not seeing that others have to learn on their own just like I had to.

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Reflections. 9.20.14

So some things have happened in my life and dramatic changes were made. I’d rather not express it all here because it would do nothing but stir up my anxiety and make me say fuck it all, again.

Right now, I have found a place of inner peace. I have  removed emotion to be able to think clearly and make the appropriate decisions based on what’s best for myself and my daughter.

Soooo….here’s a top 10 list of lessons I’ve learned:

1. Love yourself first. I know that this should be a no-brainer, but it is so easy to forget to do this.

2. Know when to walk away. We always try to fix things that are broken instead of taking it as a sign to just pick up our marbles and head home. We have to realize and understand that things do come to an end. Just find peace in the ending.

3. Emotions cloud logic. You really cannot think when you are angry or hurt. In that moment, you act irrationally and make some mistakes. Walking away and letting everything simmer down before making a rash decision is the best way to avoid problems later on.

4. Growing up is painful, yet necessary“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” – I Corinthians 13:11

5. Set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and should not allow or settle for. Don’t let anyone do anything to make you uncomfortable.

6. Don’t trust everyone. Everyone is around does not have your best interests at heart. It is up to you to practice discernment in these situations.

7. Revenge tastes sweet, but success tastes better. It goes along with what I said earlier about removing emotion from logic. Allow yourself to get better at whatever it is that you do. You can always get back at someone by hurting them. That’s easy. Yet, it’ll hurt them more when they see you doing better without them. Let them revel in your awesomeness and take satisfaction in that. Don’t let anyone take anything from you. That lets them win.

8. After a while, you have to just stop trying. Don’t beat a dead horse.

9. Cut anyone and anything off that causes unnecessary problems. No matter who they are. I am around people who I know hate me, but why continue to be a glutton for punishment? You don’t have to interact with people just because you are related to them. Just leave them alone and continue with live. You’ll see great improvement in your life.

10. Never allow yourself to be broken the same way twice. Just as a bone that breaks grows back stronger, so should you.

Knocking Over Tables.

Here goes another night where I am awake. The only difference is that this time I am actually sitting down to analyze my problems instead of running from them. Last night, I started by contacting people who consistently have reached out to me and I have just turned the other cheek. Tonight, I woke up thinking about how my period is late and I know that I am not ready for baby number 2 yet. Instead of this swelter and puss in my soul, I decided to just write my feelings, albeit publicly. Continue reading

25 Things I’ve Learned By 25

So, this past Monday (July 7th), I turned 25 years old. I still can’t believe it. It seems like yesterday I was playing with dolls and graduating from high school was driving me bananas., Hell, I even remember my first semester of college. It seems so close, but so far away. I’ve been called an old soul before and I guess that’s why I dread time. I feel like there’s never enough and I don’t really get to enjoy it. So…I’m taking the time to write the 25 things that I have learned.

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Sticks & Stones

As an adult, we are supposed to live up to a certain image or follow a certain blueprint and if we don’t, we are deemed or labeled as, “lazy”, “incompetent”, a dreamer. I know that I am not all of those things except lazy every Tuesday. :-p

I guess I’ll tell you want inspired me to write this.

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